I want to apologize again for the late and inconsistent blogs. For this particular post, I wanted to focus on an issue that I have and am still dealing with right now, and it is acne. My history with acne is long and sad story that has deep roots within my family genes. It had began during my Junior year of high school. My face broke out in cystic acne leaving behind scars on my cheeks. It soon faded during my Senior year and came back to attack during my second semester of college. What is weird about my acne is that it comes in phases. Sometimes I would have pimples and but it would not be bad at all, and then there are times when my acne issue could not be any worst. I remember crying myself to sleep praying that God would take it away from me, but it was only enough for me to be able to sleep that night just wake up the next morning and feel hideous all over again.Why can't I just sleep forever and or better yet dream forever--that way I don't have to remember the zits and scars on my face, that way people won't judge me for what I used to be.
In my past, I have tried drug store products such as: Netrogena, Clean and Clear, Clearasil, Avalon Organics, Yes to Carrot, and Cetaphil. I have also tried higher-end products like: Clarisonic, Proactive, Skin ID, Mary Kay, Clinique, Origins, Murad and Mario Badescu. I tried doing DYI home remedies like:"Honey and Aspirin mask," "Green Tea mask," "Green Tea and Sugar Scrub," "Aloe Vera Mask," "Pises Powder," "Oatmeal mask/wash" and "Yogurt mask." There are still many more that I did not put on the list.
As of right now, my face is going through that weird stage again where I am breaking out none stop. I'm keeping my facial routine very simple with Cetaphil as the wash, and moisturizer. The acne moves like a pack on my face. Where there is one today, there will be 3 more the next day. And as it travels around my face, the entire pack travel as well. I've been feeling very insecure and depress lately. I also feel like I do not have anyone to talk to. When I go home to visit my family, I often get responses like, "What's wrong with your face?" or "How come you're breaking out so much?" My personal reply is, "I don't know. Why do you ask it as if I knew what was wrong with my face? If I knew what was wrong with my face then it wouldn't look like like this, right? And if you know why don't you tell me--if not then don't even say anything." Sometimes, I get the occasional, "I know why you're face is like that. It's because you don't know how to take of it. You don't have the right diet and you're not washing your face. You're eating too much chocolate. You're eating too much pork." I even got, "You're eating too much watermelon." I would reply, "I'm a broke college student. I don't have the money to 'wine and dine.' If I don't have enough money to buy myself chocolate, what makes you think I have enough money to eat pork?!?!?!! " Honestly in my head I'm saying, "If you don't know what is wrong with my face and give me a good explanation then don't say it. IF YOU AIN'T GOT ANYTHING GOOD TO SAY ABOUT SOMETHING THEN JUST DON'T SAY IT. SIMPLE AS THAT!!!!"
I hate how ignorant people automatically categorize me and my situation as to something so simple. Having acne is not just a physical battle but also a personal battle that involves emotion and mentality. It also involves interaction with society and their judgements. It takes a lot for someone who battles with acne to wake up every morning, stare at themselves, and say that it will be okay. It takes a lot for a person with acne to put on a smile, walk out the door so the world can judge them. Have some heart and leave the negative, narrow, and unthoughtful remarks behind. That person who is battling with acne is also a human as well. But today, society looks at it as though it is some kind of contagious diseases. If everyone stopped their presumptions, and just take it as it is then this place would be in a better place. Life would not be so hard and people would not kill themselves over being hazed or bullied. If you finished my post and did not get anything, then at least go out today tell someone something positive. Help boost their self-esteem and it will help you as well, I promise.