LOVE

LOVE
Cutest little boogers ever!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Fall Semester and a Heart Break


Hey guys,

Sorry for taking a break from writing my blogs. I've been on a killer roller coaster ride of my life. So what happened to me? Well, from the last time that I wrote, I had quit my full time job since my summer break ended and I began school again. I'm now working at Chick-fil-A as a part time job and going to school full time. It's not as stressful as I'd thought it'd be, but I just have A LOT to do. Thanks for always taking your time to read about what's been going on with my life.

September 11th of 2012 and I have a heart break already. On my last entry, I wrote about this boy who I have known for a very long time confess to me, and well we hit it off very well. We spent most of our summers together when we both got off work. We would go to wonderful dates and he would always be a gentleman and pay for everything. He knows how much I love the beach, so for the summer we went to the beach for weekend. I recently been telling him about how I wanted to experience a drive-in movie theater, and he actually looked up the closest place and took me there. What an experience. I don't ever play baseball but we decided to buy some gloves and throw some balls. Just the past 2 weeks, we vacated in a cute little cabin in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Everything seemed so nice, but somehow I felt like something is missing.


Honestly. I never saw us in this way, but up until recently I began to have feelings for him. I like this guy. I really do or did. I don't get butterflies and my stomach doesn't drop, but I love being around him. I love how he would hold me. I love how it seems like he never wants to let go, but still something didn't seem right.

I'm a person who loves talking to him. I want to know more and more about him. I want us to be able to talk about anything, but for some reason I feel like I am limited to what I can say. He tells me all the time that I can talk to him about anything, but I don't feel like I can. It almost seems like our conversations never go the full yard. We talk about a lot of things but it never really goes the entire way and it almost always fall short. Maybe it is the fact that I don't get to talk to him on the phone and most of the time we only message, but even when we do talk in person, it seems to be missing something.

So, yesterday I got upset with him because sometimes he would say things that are unnecessarily (it wasn't even anything bit, we were talking about his eyes burning and that I like him better in glasses), and well, things got pretty messy. Maybe I was a little too impatient but it always feel like our conversations goes sour. I called him and told him that I'm glad that we weren't anything because I won't feel regret. I told him to leave me alone, and don't talk to me. I told him to not come visit me; I want my space, and I want my time. I hung up, and that was it.

I like this guy. I really do and that's probably why I'm so upset. Before all this, I never wanted us to have anything. Why didn't we just leave at friends??? I was happy this way. And then this summer happened and now I don't have the will to go anymore because it doesn't seem right, but I'm falling for this guy. :(


 
It's my own feelings and I don't even know how I feel. Even if I like this guy, do I think about us, or just leave it be. I think our story might end here. He wrote to me saying that he is sorry, and I know he is. He's sorry that he can't love me or talk  to me and express himself like how I want him to. It's hard on him. I know. And it's also hard on me too though. I feel like my emtional tank is empty. I want him to help fill it up, but it's not being filled. I'm conflicted.

Thanks guys,
Norma-Jean Cook

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

So He Confessed That He Likes Me

Hey friends,

How's summer coming along for everyone? I got myself a crappy full time job working my butt off but being underpaid. *SIGH* What a life!!!!

Something interesting that happened to me... A person who I have known throughout my entire childhood and even til now finally confessed that he likes me. We're just going to call him Blake Cole. I am not sure how react to it, so I talked about casually trying to not make our conversation awkward. Blake told me he really does like me and have had a crush on me for 2 years now. Just yesterday he asked if I liked him and I gave him an honest answer.

"I can't say. You know that I dislike indecisive people but I'm not sure where I'm at. I really appreciate everything you have done for me. You have always supported me, but I'm not going to fall for something that will hurt or disappoint me in the end."


He said, "Funny, seems like you're afraid." I replied, "Why shouldn't I be afraid? Have you shown me that you are reliable time and time again?" Now, don't get me wrong, like he said before, HE'S A GREAT GUY, but he has bad habits and these are habits that I can not tolerate like smoking. (He's trying to quit ATM.) Sometimes he's a butt-hole and argues with me. (pointless) If I know this about him already and he is still the same, why should I like him if I know it's something that I can not put up with?  (It's not that I'm afraid, but why am I going to put myself in a position where I know I will get hurt.) Blake then tells me he understands where I am coming from, and we sort of left it at that, but was I too harsh on him? Do you think he's hurt because I was too blunt? Are we really just friends or can there be more??? SO MANY QUESTIONS!

Well Until Again,
Norma-Jean Cook

Monday, May 14, 2012

Summer OFFICIALLY Starts

Hey Y'all,

It's been a while since the last time I post on here. So let me just do a little update on what's been going on since the last time I've posted.

FINALS were a pain, but like always, I worked really hard at it and did relatively well. My final grades were three As, one B, and one C. I wished I did better, but I guess I can only do so much.

Now, I plan to work during my summer break and just save up because it's been really hard for me financially because I'm a young college student who is paying her way through school. Plus, on top of that, I have bills to take care of and working at a fast food place that only pays me 7 something is not helping me much. :( But then again, I can't complain much because beggars can't be choosers. I just have to tough it out until I finish school.

I'll update you soon when I get the time.
Until then,

Norma-Jean Cook

Monday, April 9, 2012

My Mother Always Give The Best Advices

I was born into a family with 5 other siblings. My mother had 3 boys and 3 girls, and as I was growing up, I feel like I have always connected best with my mother. I don't want to be rude and say that none of my other siblings had that kind of relationship with her, but I was the second to the  last child and I was the baby girl. I was very obedient, and it seemed like everyone else were a rebel. And because I listened to her, she always thought me to be the bigger  and better person. At the time, I did not care much about these advices, but now, I realize how much these have helped me become a better person.

These are the best 2 advices ever:

1. "Hlub tus loj, zam tus yau." = "love the older ones, forgive the younger ones"
You have to learn how to respect and love the ones who are older than you. It doesn't matter if you were right and they were wrong, you will have to respect them. You have to forgive the younger ones because they are not as mature and they are bound to make mistakes, so forgive because they did not mean to hurt you.

2. "Txo yus lub hwj chim."  = "Humble Thyself"
 
You can't always walk around being a big bad@ss dissing everyone and being a conceited narcissistic person. You have to learn how to humble yourself so that others don't hate you and in the end, you become a great person. A perfect example is Jesus Christ, and I want to live a life just like him because he was someone who knew no sin but lived among the sinners so that he can fulfill his mission to the world. He was a very humble guy. :D





I understand now, how important it is to love others and humble myself. Thanks for reading, I hope you guys will read this and use it in your everyday life. Be patient my friend and everything else will fall into place with these advices and the Lord's help. ;)

Until Again,
Norma-Jean Cook


This picture was taken in 2010, Hmong New Year
Taken 10/10/10, My mother's birthday

Thursday, March 29, 2012

She Did Not Ask To Be Rape!

Check out the URL about the News Report:
http://www.twincities.com/localnews/ci_20239885/ramsey-county-charges-be-filed-rape-14-year?source=most_viewed

I saw this news on an Asian social network, below the news report there were 300 comments talking about how it was the girls fault and that "she was stupid and was asking to get rape." I am as disgusted and disappointed in these people as much as I am with these rapists. Where is humanity? So I replied back, in the comment box, and this was what I said...

"This is very disgusting and disturbing. I want to say a couple words for those who are bashing and criticizing on the girl.

First of all, IT IS NOT HER FAULT THAT SHE GOT RAPED. Yeah, she did make a stupid decision, but I believe everyone should feel safe in whatever they do. She should be able to have fun without fear of being sexually abused. Honestly, maybe she knew the guys and maybe some of them were her friends, so even though they were gang members, she probably thought nothing bad would happen because she "knows" them. WHY CAN'T SHE HAVE FRIENDS WITHOUT FEARING THAT THEY WOULD RAPE HER?

I hate how people today have no heart or sympathy for the rape victims. I hate sayings like this, "Well, she was asking to get rape." No, NO ONE ASK TO GET RAPE. You cannot blame her it was her fault that she was walking home late, or that she wore a dress (a little too short or a little too tight). You can't blame her that "she was asking for it." She IS the victim, so instead of wasting your time making her the culprit, accusing her of her clothes being a little too tight or hanging out with her friends at night, try to do something proactive.

I believe that we can all do something to help in this situation. Educate the young men that it is NOT ok to touch a women in any way after she said, "NO". Teach the men how to be a gentlemen. Women should not need to be in fear that she would get rape. It should not be the women's fault. Teach our younger brothers, little cousins, and friends that it is not ok to touch a women in any way if she is INTOXICATED. Teach them to protect the ladies instead of hurting them.  "

This is very true guys. If we want to stop rapes or any kind of abuse, it should start with us. We should teach others. Anyways, I hope y'all have a good one.

God Bless, Be Bless.
Norma-Jean

P.s. Go out into the world and do one kind act, the world will be in a better place. Be your brother's and sister's keeper.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Hmong Online Translation!

WOW! There is a new online Hmong translator now! How cool! I've always wanted the internet to have one and now WE DO!!!

The Hmong community in the Fresno, California area were scared that the younger Hmong generations will lose their heritage and culture and so they launched the website. For more information go to here, http://news.yahoo.com/calif-hmong-community-launches-online-translator-194033336.html

I believe many families of the Hmong community anywhere has this fear of loosing their culture and traditions, and luckily, has I grew up, I went to a church that spoke in the native Hmong language. My church was almost an educational institution teaching the young children how to read and write in Hmong along with Sunday School. I am very blessed that I am bilingual and very literate in both the Hmong and English. Unfortunately, my brothers and sisters aren't so literate because they were as exposed to the written Hmong language as I was. This new cool tool, will definitely help the new generations on their language. The issue now is how to read the words because you can have a tool to translate for you but you still won't understand how to pronounce it if you don't know how to read it.





You can check out the website at http://www.microsofttranslator.com. This website is pretty cool; I've already went on and tried a couple words and sentences. Some word are translated too literal so the translation is not correct to the word and context that it is being used. For example, if you wrote, "How are you?" the translation comes out saying "kuv noj qab nyob zoo." It basically said, "I eat well, Hello". It's probably best if you just wrote a word instead of a sentence because it will probably be wrong. There are some flaws to this cool gadget but none the less, it is very useful.  I'm proud of you, Hmong folks who came up with this great idea. Thumbs UP! :)


Much love,
Norma-Jean


We Have our Human Rights

Hey y'all,

I actually just got back from a class at 2:20pm and I was deeply moved by today's class session. This class is called The African American Church and the Civil Rights. This class is basically the study of the black church and how they have coexist with the Civil Rights movement. First of all, this is just a disclaimer, of course, I am not an African American person so I hope I don't offend anyone by talking about the Civil Rights movement and the pain of an African American person. I feel that because I am also colored minority in the U.S., I too have experience pain from the discrimination of others. My point is that I am passionate about people and the humanity of people. I believe that we are all born to be equal and that we are all brothers and sisters and the eye of the Lord. We are all beautiful people.

Today for class we had a guest speaker who was a former civil rights activist who have done a lot for basic human rights. His name is Charles Joan and he's 74 years old. From the way he carried himself to the way the spoke you can see, hear, and feel his heart. He basically told the class about his story of how he got into the movement, but every now and then he would dance and sing a hymn, and wow, you can see Jesus in him. As he sang, "this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine..." you can hear the pain in his voice, but yet you also heard joy, and if you were in the room you knew it was joy from the Lord.

The African-American folks have gone through a lot from slavery, lynching, underground railroads, separate but equal, bus boycott, freedom rides, freedom marches, sit-ins, hate and violent abuses. They have come a long way, but that does not mean everything is done and there is no more civil rights. Civil rights does not just mean our fellow black brothers and sisters, but it means everyone, even if your Hispanic, Asians, or Pacific Islanders, we all should help each other and stand for equal rights. Freedom does not discriminate your skin color, so it doesn't matter if your chocolate, caramel, peach, banana, or vanilla. We are all a apart of the human family. There is still racism here in the U.S.A. and prejudice stereotypes still plays a role in our everyday activities. We all should not live our life like everything is A-OK and there is nothing left to fight, but we should live your life asking ourselves, what more can I do? When you see a fellow brother or sister in pain, help them out.  Maya Angelou once said, "we are more alike, my friend, then we are different." I could not have said it any better.

For my fellow brothers and sisters who loves God, lets remember that if we claim that we love God then we must remember that we have to love HIS people too. I know that there may be times when others will hurt you and ostracize you,but the Lord will never forsake you and he will never put you in a position where He knew you couldn't  handle it. Amen? Amen.

Have a Blessed Day.
Until then,
Norma-Jean

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Beautiful Sky

These are some pictures of the beautiful sky that everyone forgets to look up at. The sky never fails to amaze me with all of it's beautiful colors of pink, orange, blue, and gold. I'm still in awe every time I think of the wonders of God and how HE created this world.



My Daily Encouragment and Devotion: Where I Find Peace...


Every single day, I wake up and I tell myself, "Another day, another blessing." I'm not sure about y'all but  I get easily discouraged, so this quote always keeps me going and reminds me that I am still living today because God kept me and my purpose isn't over. 

A little information about me, I am a really religious person who loves to talk about my faith, and I constantly talk to God as I walk to class or drive to work. I talk to God while I'm eating and while I'm showering. I always try my best to have a conversation with God because that is where I find peace and humbleness.  

Rather it be going to school all covered up so no one will notice me... Or going to school looking like the normal me... or winding down and relaxing...

It's always important that when people talk to me or see me that they don't see me, Norma-Jean, but the Lord Jesus Christ who's spirit dwells within me. Like the song, by Chris Tomlin, called Your Heart (David), "At the end of the day, I want to hear people say, that my heart looks like your heart, my heart looks like your heart. Unashamed I will dance, in your name, I lift my hand, till my heart looks like your heart, my heart looks like your heart." I will try my best to live every single second worshiping God with every ounce of my body. Hallelujah! :) This was just a post about where I find peace.



RANDOM TIME

I went to work yesterday, and while on my lunch break, I saw this baby having a blast inside her nostril! D:          BOOGERS IN PUBLIC!!!
I wonder what she was thinking.

 Until again,
Norma-Jean



Sunday, March 18, 2012

CUTIES!

This is my little cousins, Davanii and Sariyan

Namanuna Is Back!

WOOOWHOOO!!!!

I HAVE GREAT NEWS! My mom found my bunny Friday morning. She was actually stuck and trapped in my dad's garage. My poor bunny was trapped for a day and a half, and it really was a blessing that Namanuna was found before it was too late. She's so smart. In the garage, my dad has some chicken food in a sack; well, Nana actually bit a hole into the sack and ate some chicken food while she was trapped. AWWwwww

:D



She is now safe and sound with me. I am very happy to have her back! I'll update more on Namanuna later!

ON THE OTHER HAND
A song that I'm in love with right now is "Bad Boy" by Big Bang. They are a South Korean boy band group. Here is the music video of the song. Check out this Kpop song. You'll like it.

Love,
Norma-Jean Cook

Friday, March 16, 2012

Spring Break in China


Last week for Spring Break, I went to Beijing, China to study aboard. WOW! Where do I start?

Last last Friday, on March 2, 2012, I went on my first out of country flight ever! AHH!!!! I have the best and most supportive parents ever. They knew how scared, nervous, and anxious I would be, so the night before I left, they drove to Charlotte to sleepover and take me to the airport. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH! Anyways the plane ride there was terrible! D: I had a sucky seat and it was behind the restrooms, so I started getting nausea. The first 5 hours wasn't that bad, but soon after that I started to get really sick. There was really bad costumer service there also.  The flight attendant was really and they did not attend to my needs at all. :/ Luckily we arrived to Beijing in 13 hours. WOOOWHOO!

First evening, we had a welcoming dinner with our instructors. Eating legit Chinese food was real good. It was way better than any of the Chinese food over here in the U.S.

First day, we went to Tienanmen Square and The Forbidden City. It was really cool and pretty scary because when we were there, the China was holding a meeting for the Communist party and there were a lot of security. Popos were everywhere and when we were discussing about the events that took place on Tienanmen Square a couple of police questioned us if we were reporters and journalist. D: How scary. We could be in big trouble if we got caught talking about the massacre at Tienanmen Square.

The AMAZING Forbidden City



Jisang Park located directly across the Forbidden City.
After that we made our way to The Forbidden City because it was directly right across from Tienanmen. THIS PLACE IS AWESOME. It felt amazing to be here because it was the reason why I really wanted to go to China. I've always saw movies and dramas that took place at the Forbidden City, and what really pushed me to go to China was the Chinese drama called Bu Bu Jing Xing. It was a beautiful story based on historical events and it inspired me to visit this place. I am very VERY impressed by the all the details of the buildings. Did you know that about 100,000 artisans were hired to do all the details in the city?

Second day, we went to the Temple of Heaven. Wow, this place was pretty itself. While the Forbidden City was where the Emperor lived and where he practiced his supreme power, this place was the spiritual and religious aspect for the emperor. The Temple of Heaven was the place where he would sacrifice and pray to the gods and heavens for good harvest. Super awesome! Interesting fact, did you know that the reason 3 doors were created by gates to the palaces or temples were because it is believed that only the emperor can walk through the middle door. He was that holy.  Everyone else has to go around.

That same evening I went to a local bar near the hotel that we stayed. It was my first experience because for those who knows me, I don't ever go out to club or drink. :) I'm a goody good girl who enjoys having fun at home. But wow, it was very strange for me. I didn't drink even though China doesn't have a limit to the drinking age.

Third day was THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA! WOWWWW!!!! All the pictures and videos does not do the wall any justice at all! I believe something that makes this architecture so famous and interesting is because everything is so precise and at such a grand scale. All the little details are exact and the measurements of the bricks are almost perfect. They made this wall to follow the natural lines of the mountains. There's an amazing view from the wall of the beautiful mountains.  It's amazing and mind blowing. It is believed that the mastermind behind building the wall calculated so well that there was only one brick left unused after they finished the wall. "You are not a real man until you have climbed the great wall." - Mao Zedong.

Buddhist temple on the hill by the frozen lake
Fourth day we went to the beautiful Summer Palace. This place is GORGEOUS. This was a place where the emperors would come and relax. There is a lake located in the middle and from there you can see the Buddhist temple at the top of the hill and on the other side you can see a long bridge connecting to a little island. The water was half frozen, when I was there, but I can only imagine how beautiful it must during spring. It's amazing how this place still hasn't changed at all. In the Buddhist temple there is a 20 ton statue of the Bodhisattva Guan Yin. Wow! IT'S UNBELIEVABLE!

I'm the yin yang symbol.
Fifth day was the White Cloud Daoist Temple. There was less grand but still very interesting. Honestly, that day was really cold, so I did not pay much attention to the information given out. This place was also very religious, so you can smell the burning incense everywhere. We saw two Daoist monks who talked with us about their journey to the temple and their daily life as monk. They recited a sutra for the group and also prayed for us to be well and successful. Awwww... They are very sweet.


Lamastary
Sixth day we visited the Lamastary. This was a religious place where Tibetan Buddhism are practiced. There were a lot of people there, and i couldn't help but to be touched by their devotion. I'm a pretty religious person and when I see people who are that devoted about their religion it makes me smile. I don't necessarily agree with it but am impressed and inspired by their love for Buddhism. Burnt incense and fruits are brought as gifts to the Buddhist and Bodhisattva. This day was also freezing cold.

That night, half of the group went out to eat at a Korean BBQ place. VERY YUMMY INDEED. After that a couple of us wanted to check out a place where called "Disco Disco". We obviously thought it was a club and we were interested in going to it because we haven't went to one before. This random guy brought us into a building and took us down stair. From afar, you can hear the bass of the music thumping and you knew it was a dancing place but once we opened the door there was a girl dancing on a pole. :O WOOOOHHH, that was not what I expected. There was nerdy guy dancing so I decided to dance with him. He was pretty cool. Even though  he can't dance, it was awesome to know that he had fun.  Long story sort, we figured out this place was a prostitution place by the amount of hot and sexy girls that were there. I though the guy dancing with us was gay but I guess not. He told me that he was going to go upstair and suggested for me to go, but I didn't understand so I just nodded my head and smiled. He took a girl by the hand and went up; moments later, all the girls that were sitting together had all left up stair silently and all came down about 15 minutes later. It was a strange atmosphere when they came down. I wonder how much they got since all the girls were a part of it. Some where actually smoking suggesting that they must have been doing something. AHAHAHAH! It was starting to feel awkward so we left and went back to our hotel. It surely was "Disco Disco" alright.




The seventh day, was more of a relaxing day, we went to one of my instructor's old friend. She's an artist and what makes her so special is that she had polio and it left her bound to a wheelchair. She can't move much of her muscles and the only thing that she can do is talk. At the age of 60 something, she chose to learn English, and even though her words are limited, she is still very good at it. She's now 70 something, I believe. She's is a sweet old lady who is a great painter and has a beautiful heart. Her husband is still alive but suffers from Alzheimer, so you can imagine what kind of hardships she gone through. It is remarkable how loving and  humble she is. It's an inspiration. I bought a dragon painting from her.

In the new Beijing Airport waiting to depart
The eighth day was our last day there before we flew out that evening. Man, I saw the sun rise and set twice on the same day. How exhausting. I came back home last Sunday night at 11:30. So now I'm still very jet lag and that is why I am still up typing when I should be sleeping. I wonder how long is this going to carry on. I missed class this morning because I overslept. Hahahha. and it was at 12:30 PM.

Overall I would say that my favorite places is the Great Wall and the Summer Palace. That does not mean that I did not like the other ones, but these are the places that stood out to me the most because The Great Wall was spectacular and so big and the Summer Palace was so beautiful. I'm glad I went on this trip. I'm happy, and I'm proud of myself for being able to go to the places I have always wanted to go. I'm satisfied even though it was very costly. :)


Thursday, March 15, 2012

:( My Bunny is Gone


Hey guys,

I received a really devastating call from my mom that my pet bunny, Princess Namanuna, is gone. Today was a beautiful day with tempertures in the 80s. My mom wanted to let Namanuna outside to run and eat grass. My mom said that usually Namanuna never goes anywhere too far, and she will always come back to her cage but this time my mom was not watching her. She went back inside the house to do something and when she came back outside my bunny was gone. She was babysitting my little nephew, so she took him with her and searched around the neighborhood but could not find Nana. My mom believes something like a hawk must have took her because Namanuna could not have gone that far.

I'm pretty bummed about this.

I bought her last year in late September. She's a cute little black lionhead rabbit with a white stripe on her nose and hands. She's the cutest little thing ever, and that is actually why I bought her in the first place. She was the tinniest of the bunch with her cute feet. I live in a small college apartment where pets aren't aloud and during the time some maintenance was working on the apartment, so I decided to take my bunny back home where my parents lived because I didn't want to get caught. The holidays came around and it would have been hard to keep traveling with Namanuna so I decided to leave her there until the new semester came around. Things came up and I was going China, so I didn't want to leave and have no one to take care of Nana, so the plan was for me to take her back home this weekend because I would be free. I had all the plans laid out. All I needed to know next was bring Nana back home, but this unfortunate incident had to occur.

Namanuna was the middle bunny. This was the first day we shared with each other. 


She was such a beautiful and gentle creature. It's so sad that I had bought her and unintentionally neglected her. I'm a person who has so much love to give and I just wanted to love her so much but I was not able to because of where I lived. My dad hated Namanuna and he did not agree with her living in the house at all, but I brought her in anyways because I wanted her to live a happy life. She deserves it. It's so sad that my parents does not love things as much as I do. She was always caged up because they did not have the time to watch after her.

In October my dad was diagnose with a pinched nerve and diabetes. My mom had to take care of my dad and soon after that Namanuna wasn't getting the correct care and attention. My mom did the best she could to give take care of her and give her her essentials needs. I thank my mom for looking after Namanuna after all these months. I knew that Namanuna wanted personal interaction and so every time I went back home, I tried my best to let her out of her cage and play with her. I tried to make her happy with the little time that I had with her. I was hoping to go back home tomorrow and see her but this had to happen.

I suck as a caregiver and a person. :( I couldn't even make my bunny happy. I brought her to an unhappy life and a home where she was not loved and appreciated. As much as I want to go back and take it all away, I can't. I shouldn't have even bought her in the first place because maybe she could have found a better home she was loved. It's not that I didn't love her, I did but there was only so much that I can do. :( Am I wrong that she's gone now?

I'm worried that if she did run away then would she know how to take care of herself because she's always been a domesticated animal. But then maybe it's best that she's free because she can explore and do the things she couldn't with me. If something did get her then I hope to see her in heaven. She was innocent and she did not deserve this. It was all my fault. :(

Farewell My Love. You will always be apart of me.
Love, Mama Norma-Jean



Monday, February 27, 2012

Just Another Day of Stress




Hey guys,

It's been incredibly stressful for me lately and especially this week because it's mid-term week. I have Exams after the other and I have papers due... not to mention I'M GOING TO CHINA THIS FRIDAY AND I HAVEN'T EVEN PREPARED MY PRESENTATION ABOUT THE FORBIDDEN CITY OR PACKED MY BAGS YET!!!!! I want to do well on my exams because it's the only thing that I can rely on. I totally bombed a quiz last week for my Judaism class, and because of that, I have to score really high on my mid-terms. I'm blown away at how far behind I am at everything... :O UuurrgghHH!!!!



I know I can't do this alone and so I found some ways of 'coping' with my stress.

1. I find that when I am stress, I  turn to Jesus Christ and my worries vanishes. I lean on HIM for the support. I would find my comfortable spot and pray to God for peace and guidance. I ask God to help me through my troubles. There is nothing better than the peace of Jesus Christ when I am stress. Amen?


2. I do something different. There is no point of trying to do something when your mind is overloaded and fried. Take time to relax by doing something different like going for a walk. Try something that would take your mind off the subject of stress and then when you feel better and calmer, you can come back to whatever you were working and be amazed at how much better you are retaining information. 
3. I love music, so when I feel overwhelmed with stress, I take out my guitar and I sing.

Let me know how you're week is going. Is it midterm for  you guys?

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Why Am I Blogging?

Why am I blogging?


I have always wanted to blog but something that held me back was my insecurity about my writing. I took a writing intensive class last semester and my professor said something to me that hurt me. He said, " Almost every sentence is problematic." I thought to myself, WTF! What do you mean almost every sentence, does that mean that all my life, I've been writing wrong the entire time and no one took the time to tell me about my errors? Even though he said that, he also encouraged me and said, "Remember that Rome wasn't built over night," it takes time to be a great writer and practice will make perfect. So I brought it onto myself to write so that I can practice and before I know it, I'm will be writing like a professional. What do you think?? Sounds good??? 

Now, I've come with an idea about blogging a random day of my life hence the title "Another Day with Norma-Jean". I hope you guys take the time to read my post and comment me. I would love to know what you think about my post. I'm still new at blogging but I will definitely keep it up.

Thanks for the support,
Norma-Jean

Forgivness Set Me Free



This post is a story that i wrote to a page on Facebook called “I Am Hmong Beauty”, and the mission of this facebook page is to help encourage and empower Hmong women. As you can tell by the title, I am going to write about how my life was once filled with darkness and hatred but forgiveness set me free.
About 14 years ago, my granny’s “boyfriend” began living with my family. I’m not sure about what really happened but it almost seemed like one day I was happy being with my granny, fill asleep, and woke up the next day with a stranger cleaning the house. This stranger was “friendly” and “nice”. He liked to clean up around the house, and better yet, my grandma was happy. I wonder what really happened. I was only 5 when I he took away my life.

My childhood life was actually a case of child molestation by this “stranger”. Who would have thought that behind the smile there was a monster who enjoyed ruining people’s life. From when I was a kindergarten until a 4th grader, I had to live in fear of this monster. I would never see things the same anymore, and I was force to grow up so much faster than my peers. Honestly, I don’t have a childhood.

This creep would take me to his room, lock the doors, and put on a pornographic video. He then puts me on his lap and and molest me. When it was over, he smiles and tells me not to tell anyone. He gives me candy and acts as though nothing happened. I was so young and so naive. I was so stupid that I did not let anyone know. Years went on and he was still the same, but I began to lose myself. I was deteriorating on the inside. I was scared to let anyone know because of what they might say to me and what he would do to my family. We moved away from my granny because the house was getting crowed but I was always afraid of visiting them. I LOVE my granny with all of my heart. She was my best friend growing up because she took care of me, but it was very sad to know that I couldn’t even visit my grandma with out wondering if he was going to hurt me again.

Long story short, I told my auntie about what happened to me and she reported to the police. They came after the creep but he found out about it and fled out of state with the help of his sons. One day at school, 4th grade, I was called up to the office where two detective questioned me. The guy detective took notes and the lady detective drew a picture of a person and asked me to point out the places that the creep touched me. It was exactly like one of them scenes from Law&Order SVU, and after that they sent me back to class like normal. A couple of weeks later I had mails coming from the court telling me that we have a chance to take the bastard to jail. Too bad we never found the guy, and after awhile my parents never followed up with the case and it sort of got push under the rug.

This was a bitter sweet moment for me. It felt good to know that he was not around anymore and he wouldn’t be able to hurt me , but then the fact that he was still out there and I could not do anything to catch him either cut me like a knife. I hated what he did to me, so I was not re-leaved when I found out that he was living with another family. From what I know, he might just be hurting young girls like me too.
I hated him and I resented him. Even after he was gone, my heart still carried a burden of hatred and bitterness, but I found peace through Jesus Christ. Maybe it was partially my psyche that help me forget the events, but even then I still hated him when I thought about everything that the did to me. About a couple years back, I found Jesus Christ and he opened my heart to love and compassion. I forgave the old geezer that day when I found Jesus because I know that resenting him will not make me any better than him. I learned how to forget and forgive through the love and compassion that I got from God.

Through all of my hardships, I saw all of my events like this just as Jesus Christ, who knew no sin, can forgive and die in place of those who hated him… I can do the same. As shameless as that creep is and all of the thing he did to me, I was stronger than that. Overcoming the obstacles, of my childhood, shaped who I am today a strong and beautiful woman in love with Jesus Christ. So, just as my title stated forgiveness set me free. It set me free from my all of the evil and negative feeling that was built up inside of me. It set me free from my self hatred and self accusation. It set me free from the devil, and it set me free from chains of bitterness and depression. I lost my life that day when that man violated me, but I received a life far better than the one I lost because forgiveness gave me life again.

Alrighty guys! This isn’t what I wanted for my first post, but since I was writing it for another purpose I might as well post it up too. This is a little snippet of my life and the struggles I went through, and after you read this, maybe you will have a different impression of me. I hope it is in a good way though. :D I also hope that my story helps inspire and empower you in your life too. We are beautiful people who deserves to love and be loved, so we shouldn’t hate our-self or anyone else even if they hurt us in the worst possible way. I hope hearing my story can help you forget your bad memories and forgive the perpetrator who hurt you.

Much Love,
Norma-Jean